Peace to you all! What an unpredictable day we are having here.....weather wise I mean! The sun has come back out, so I would like to get out and enjoy it, however, my child is not thrilled about going outside. Too bad though, I'm going to make this post quick and drag him out against his will!!!! Anyway, I was browsing the web and came across a blog called Flawless Mistake. AWESOME BLOG!! It totally reminded me how much I love clothes and shoes! The problem is my closet is dead.....literally. There is nothing in there that excites me or makes my heart flutter. This has got to change. I mean come on!!! I'm 30 years old, my closet should not be so drab :( So I decided that I am going to collect pieces to build the closet of my dreams! You know, the closet where you have so many mismatched pieces that you could spend hours putting a look together. I mean, the closet that has accessories galore and a shoe game that's psychotic!!! When it comes to shoes, I do not discriminate in the least....I LOVE ALL SHOES!!! Tennis shoes, heels, sandals, basketball shoes, throwback shoes, wedges, flats........I gots to have them all! I mean, this blog of mine is all about my self discovery and I am ready to show the world just who I really am. I'm the girl where when I go shopping with my friends, they never understand the pieces that I like or why.....but then I put it on and they go, "Wow, I never would have thought to pick that up!" For that very reason is why I like to shop alone.....but that's neither here nor there. So I got off subject for a minute, forgive me!
Back to the subject at hand.....my dream closet! You could not imagine the ideas I have running through my head when it comes to clothes and shoes and putting it all together. I find myself lately browsing through the fashion magazines, surfing sites like Delia's, Urban Outfitters, Free People, and the like. And if I could remember my password, I would be surfing Guilt Group on the regular too! Recently, I had an interview with Ann Taylor for a part time position, and let me tell you, if I get this job it will be the beginning of a sickness! But I'm just going with the flow and hoping for the best! If I get it, great, if not then oh, well. I am just hopeful that it will happen and open up an opportunity for me to get into the fashion game and from there, who knows!
Ah, self discovery, I'm loving it. It feels good to redefine who you are and fall back in love with the things that make you who you are! You gotta love being you, because I swear I am beginning to love loving me!!! Oh, and I swear yall, when I buy me a new digital camera, this blog will get a bit more interesting. Until then, bare with me!!!!
And those are just some of my thoughts......
AdVintage Star
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Star Ideas-Short Hair, Don't Care!
Peace to you all! Alright folks, this is the story of how I went from having permed hair to a head full of thick, healthy, kinks, coils and curls! Man I LOVE my hair! Okay, so it all started with this relationship I was in with a man that shall remain nameless. I know, I know, how did my hair journey begin with a man?? Well it did, but it didn't. You know how the saying goes, everyone is brought into your life, for a season, a reason, or a lifetime. Well this man came in for a season and a reason I believe. Anyway, I was dating this man for a couple of years and we shacked up together and was pretending to build this solid relationship......you know how it goes. Anyway, about a year before we finally separated I woke up one day (I know yall are thinking like, "man, this chick always just woke up one day!"), but it's true! That's just how my brain works I guess. I told you I was random from the beginning, so bear with me! So like I was saying, I woke up one day and realized that this was not the life I was trying to live. Shacked up with some man that I'm not really all that into just because it's convenient. And honestly, that what the relationship was, convenient. You see, I was living in this apartment with my son and we were struggling and along comes Mr. Convenient who I was already dating and who had screwed up miserably.So he's like we should just move in together, we both can save some money and blah, blah, blah. So I was like, "okay", and we did. Talk about making mistakes!
Now fast forward to about 1.5 years into us moving in together and my spirit is saying, "boo, this is not for you! Are you really happy? Do you even love this man? Is this how you want to raise your son, shacked up with some man? The answer to all of those questions was, "HELL NAW!" This was not what I wanted for myself. I mean, I cared for the man and had some feelings for him, but they really weren't deep. I decided that I needed to make some moves and get gone! The first thing I did, was go back to church. Man, what an experience. I grew up in the church so religion is part of my core, but I had been absent for quite some time and my spirit had been speaking to me, but just like anyone else in denial, I ignored it. But when I started going back, I noticed that somebody had definitely cleaned my mirror! I could see that I had done all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons and I could see myself so much more clearly. After a few months of attending church consistently and understanding what my spirit was telling me, I decided that it was time for change........and the first thing I changed was my hair!
See, my hair was already short because I had whacked it as usual, and then I dyed it for the first time. That was the beginning of the end. My hair began breaking and shedding and I just didn't like it anymore. So I started doing some searches on-line and discovered Nappturality.com. Talk about a whole other world! That's what this site exposed me to, and I was loving every bit of it. So I read, read, and read some more. I researched everything I could about caring for natural hair, what products to use, how to retain length, etc. You name it, I was looking it up. the more I researched, the more I fell in love with the idea of changing up my hair! I mean, this wasn't just about changing my look, it was about embracing myself for who I truly am and loving me just as I am. So I waited about two months and did the BIG CHOP!!!! Dramatic I know, right! When it was all said and done, I had less than one inch of hair and I loved it!
Now having a head full of natural hair is quite the experience. Especially when you've learned over the years how to care for and style your permed hair. I mean, I had this thing down to an art! And here I go and cut off all my perm, now I have to learn my hair all over again. The first thing I learned was that my hair is not as coarse as I thought it was. I also learned that it frizzes on top but has nothing but coils underneath the frizz. The next thing I learned was that I had about 3 different textures of hair, now how the heck am I supposed to work with that! Trial and error, my dear, trial and error is the only way to make it through! Going natural was the best thing I ever did and I swear I am in love with my hair.
I bet your wondering how the man brought me to this point.....well, it was the experience of it all that brought me here. He was the starting point and although he only lasted a season, I believe his true reason was to show me that I was headed in the wrong direction and that it was time to choose a new path. The relationship brought me to a crossroads in my life and made me choose a new direction. The start of that new direction was becoming one with my spirit, and then making changes accordingly. The first change was my hair. The change in my hair exposed me to thoughts and ideas about life that I never considered before. Of course, after the hair, came the break up. About a year later, I packed my stuff, and I left. No guilt, no hurt, no hard feelings. Just freedom.
Some would say that I went natural because I was going through some life crisis, but the truth is, changing my hair was a symbol that I was changing. It represents me at my best: raw, fragile, growing, and learning. This is where I am at in my life. I'm learning a new way to live. I cut my hair and I let go of the past. I let go of the hurt and grief that I have spent so much time identifying with. I'm learning how to love and do it unconditionally without expecting something in return. I'm learning who I am all over again. I learning how to let go of the expectations and do what will make me truly happy. If I could find my soul mate, trade in the work clothes for comfortable, worn jeans and vintage tee's, have a houseful of kids, and write, I would be in bliss! All I need is my family, my jeans, good music, good food, love, and a place to enjoy it all! Simplicity and content. That's what I'm looking for. That's what my soul is searching for. I am self discovering, and like I said, that road is bumpy as hell, but I get it now, and I'm going to ride it out like a champ! I'm still growing and learning, but I'm becoming a better person, and I love it. I'm finding out what I truly need and desire. It don't get much better than that. So once I get comfortable in my journey, then will come the locs. To me, it represents commitment, simplicity, and content. That's the big idea, right?
And those are just some of my thoughts,
AdVintage Star
Now fast forward to about 1.5 years into us moving in together and my spirit is saying, "boo, this is not for you! Are you really happy? Do you even love this man? Is this how you want to raise your son, shacked up with some man? The answer to all of those questions was, "HELL NAW!" This was not what I wanted for myself. I mean, I cared for the man and had some feelings for him, but they really weren't deep. I decided that I needed to make some moves and get gone! The first thing I did, was go back to church. Man, what an experience. I grew up in the church so religion is part of my core, but I had been absent for quite some time and my spirit had been speaking to me, but just like anyone else in denial, I ignored it. But when I started going back, I noticed that somebody had definitely cleaned my mirror! I could see that I had done all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons and I could see myself so much more clearly. After a few months of attending church consistently and understanding what my spirit was telling me, I decided that it was time for change........and the first thing I changed was my hair!
See, my hair was already short because I had whacked it as usual, and then I dyed it for the first time. That was the beginning of the end. My hair began breaking and shedding and I just didn't like it anymore. So I started doing some searches on-line and discovered Nappturality.com. Talk about a whole other world! That's what this site exposed me to, and I was loving every bit of it. So I read, read, and read some more. I researched everything I could about caring for natural hair, what products to use, how to retain length, etc. You name it, I was looking it up. the more I researched, the more I fell in love with the idea of changing up my hair! I mean, this wasn't just about changing my look, it was about embracing myself for who I truly am and loving me just as I am. So I waited about two months and did the BIG CHOP!!!! Dramatic I know, right! When it was all said and done, I had less than one inch of hair and I loved it!
Now having a head full of natural hair is quite the experience. Especially when you've learned over the years how to care for and style your permed hair. I mean, I had this thing down to an art! And here I go and cut off all my perm, now I have to learn my hair all over again. The first thing I learned was that my hair is not as coarse as I thought it was. I also learned that it frizzes on top but has nothing but coils underneath the frizz. The next thing I learned was that I had about 3 different textures of hair, now how the heck am I supposed to work with that! Trial and error, my dear, trial and error is the only way to make it through! Going natural was the best thing I ever did and I swear I am in love with my hair.
I bet your wondering how the man brought me to this point.....well, it was the experience of it all that brought me here. He was the starting point and although he only lasted a season, I believe his true reason was to show me that I was headed in the wrong direction and that it was time to choose a new path. The relationship brought me to a crossroads in my life and made me choose a new direction. The start of that new direction was becoming one with my spirit, and then making changes accordingly. The first change was my hair. The change in my hair exposed me to thoughts and ideas about life that I never considered before. Of course, after the hair, came the break up. About a year later, I packed my stuff, and I left. No guilt, no hurt, no hard feelings. Just freedom.
Some would say that I went natural because I was going through some life crisis, but the truth is, changing my hair was a symbol that I was changing. It represents me at my best: raw, fragile, growing, and learning. This is where I am at in my life. I'm learning a new way to live. I cut my hair and I let go of the past. I let go of the hurt and grief that I have spent so much time identifying with. I'm learning how to love and do it unconditionally without expecting something in return. I'm learning who I am all over again. I learning how to let go of the expectations and do what will make me truly happy. If I could find my soul mate, trade in the work clothes for comfortable, worn jeans and vintage tee's, have a houseful of kids, and write, I would be in bliss! All I need is my family, my jeans, good music, good food, love, and a place to enjoy it all! Simplicity and content. That's what I'm looking for. That's what my soul is searching for. I am self discovering, and like I said, that road is bumpy as hell, but I get it now, and I'm going to ride it out like a champ! I'm still growing and learning, but I'm becoming a better person, and I love it. I'm finding out what I truly need and desire. It don't get much better than that. So once I get comfortable in my journey, then will come the locs. To me, it represents commitment, simplicity, and content. That's the big idea, right?
And those are just some of my thoughts,
AdVintage Star
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Star Ideas-The Beginning
Peace to you all! It's me, AdVintage Star and I am just dropping everyone a line to introduce myself to the world! Star Ideas is my new blog which really is just about me and the insane growing pains I have been going thru lately. I will be 31 yrs old this year and it really just hit me about 3 months ago that I am really in my 30's and that I have been playing long enough. Actually at this point, I have been playing a little too long. I have reached a point in my life where the games are over and it's time grow up. So yeah, back to being 31! What a drag! I mean I love it because I am entering into a new journey, but it's like an official announcement that YOU ARE GROWN!!!! It's time to start being much more responsible and doing all of the things that grown folks do! Okay.....I don't know if that's exactly what's supposed to happen at this age or if I am just slow to develop, but whatever it is, that's what this stage of my life is about. I'm "Finding Myself", I guess you could say. My goals have changed, my wants and desires, have changed, my hair has changed, and my body is definitely changing! I see the world for what it is now and am ready to make my mark in it!
I'm sure you're thinking: "This chick is sooooo random!" Truth is, I am pretty random. But I swear I woke up one day and was like: this is not it. Something had to give. So I began to really pray and meditate on it and I still don't quite have an answer, but I am closer still. I am developing in stages. First it was my hair......which will be my next post cause that was a journey all in itself! Right before I turned 28, I decided that I needed to change. I looked around and didn't like what I saw. I didn't like that I had been caught up in the materialistic bull$%*! that people call their lives. You know, measuring what you have with success...it made absolutely no since to me. Here I was, working hard to obtain some image that meant absolutely nothing to me. I mean, as far as fashion and hair goes, I always kinda walked to the beat of my own drum, but I was still trying to conform and be like everyone else....if that makes any sense. Well, I just got sick of it all and decided one day that I was going to cut my hair off. I waited about a month to get a fair amount of new growth going and then I went to see my sister at the beauty school and asked her to get the clippers and cut it off. She fussed at me and asked me what I was going through, and I politely stated, "nothing," and asked her to cut it. She did and that was the beginning. My natural hair allowed me exposure to a whole other world! I was intrigued to say the least. So I began to research information about natural hair and how to care for it and so on and so forth and as I learned, I began to live a different life.
So, once the hair was natural and I was learning about natural products and better ingredients for my hair, I noticed that I was bored with more than just my hair and began getting myself prepared to walk a new path. I knew that my mind set had to change. I needed to start looking at my life for what it is instead of what illusion I thought it should be. I began to notice that I don't need all the material things that I thought I needed. I realized that I had my health, family, my right mind, a job, an education, good friends.........what more could I ask for. Those few things I mentioned, some people spend a lifetime trying to find, and here it was sitting my lap the whole time. I have all that I need and I knew from that realization on that everything else would fall into place. I just needed to follow my spirit and my heart and life would unfold for me the way God intended it to.
Discovery is a journey many are scared to initiate. I, however, believe that in order for me to truely have happiness, I need to be discover who I am and what I want and be intuned with my spirit. I will only be satisfied if I am living a life that is true to who I am. My problem is, my journey of discovery has just began, and let me tell you, because it is the road less traveled, it is bumpy as hell!!!
And those are just some of my thoughts.........
AdVintage Star!
I'm sure you're thinking: "This chick is sooooo random!" Truth is, I am pretty random. But I swear I woke up one day and was like: this is not it. Something had to give. So I began to really pray and meditate on it and I still don't quite have an answer, but I am closer still. I am developing in stages. First it was my hair......which will be my next post cause that was a journey all in itself! Right before I turned 28, I decided that I needed to change. I looked around and didn't like what I saw. I didn't like that I had been caught up in the materialistic bull$%*! that people call their lives. You know, measuring what you have with success...it made absolutely no since to me. Here I was, working hard to obtain some image that meant absolutely nothing to me. I mean, as far as fashion and hair goes, I always kinda walked to the beat of my own drum, but I was still trying to conform and be like everyone else....if that makes any sense. Well, I just got sick of it all and decided one day that I was going to cut my hair off. I waited about a month to get a fair amount of new growth going and then I went to see my sister at the beauty school and asked her to get the clippers and cut it off. She fussed at me and asked me what I was going through, and I politely stated, "nothing," and asked her to cut it. She did and that was the beginning. My natural hair allowed me exposure to a whole other world! I was intrigued to say the least. So I began to research information about natural hair and how to care for it and so on and so forth and as I learned, I began to live a different life.
So, once the hair was natural and I was learning about natural products and better ingredients for my hair, I noticed that I was bored with more than just my hair and began getting myself prepared to walk a new path. I knew that my mind set had to change. I needed to start looking at my life for what it is instead of what illusion I thought it should be. I began to notice that I don't need all the material things that I thought I needed. I realized that I had my health, family, my right mind, a job, an education, good friends.........what more could I ask for. Those few things I mentioned, some people spend a lifetime trying to find, and here it was sitting my lap the whole time. I have all that I need and I knew from that realization on that everything else would fall into place. I just needed to follow my spirit and my heart and life would unfold for me the way God intended it to.
Discovery is a journey many are scared to initiate. I, however, believe that in order for me to truely have happiness, I need to be discover who I am and what I want and be intuned with my spirit. I will only be satisfied if I am living a life that is true to who I am. My problem is, my journey of discovery has just began, and let me tell you, because it is the road less traveled, it is bumpy as hell!!!
And those are just some of my thoughts.........
AdVintage Star!
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